An Odd Day at The Amusement Park – Part I

Once a year my Dad’s company has a company picnic. One year I had the opportunity to go. It proved to be very different than I expected it to be. Along with my family, I brought my good friend Brock. We were ready for food and fun times at a mediocre amusement park. After filling up on hot dogs and rectangular cheeseburgers we made our way towards the rides. Due to the limited amount of rides at this particular amusement park, we decided to start small and then work our way up to the bigger, more exciting rides. We began our night of amusement at “Lewis and Clark Adventures”, a simple ride where the roller cart weaves through a room full of relatively simple attractions. We were able to get on the ride very quickly because there was no line (which should have been an indication as to the degree of fun we would have) and were greeted by a woman in her late 40s who had clearly been working too long a shift and was in desperate need of a break. “You don’t want to go on this ride.” she said with a blank stare on her face. This should have been the second indication that the ride was sub-par. But we insisted that we go on it, so we took our seats in the rusting car.

The doors opened and revealed a dimly lit room full of cardboard cut outs of buffalo and Native Americans. As the car weaved back and forth, we were shown more cheap displays attempting to tell the story of the Lewis and Clark exploration. At first we began to roll our eyes at this cheap excuse for an amusement park ride. But it quickly turned humorous as the poor quality of the ride continued. As we rounded another corner, we were able to barely see a life-size stuffed bear in attack position: on its hind legs, mouth open, paws up. We pointed to it in excitement as this was the first three dimensional object we had seen in quite some time. Suddenly, a spotlight shone down on the bear and the bear furiously came to life, humping at the car as we rode by in shock. We looked at each other in silent disbelief. Then we burst out in laughter. “Did we really just see that?!” I asked. “I think the bear was humping the car!” Brock said.

Before would could recover from what we had just seen, we rounded another corner. Through the darkness we were able to make out what appeared to be a Native American mannequin woman. The peculiar thing about this was that the mannequin was not facing us, but seemed to be hiding in the corner. As we rode by, the woman began to bow slightly a few inches and then stand back up, very quickly, reminiscent of the bear’s actions. What on earth was this Native American woman doing?! The combination of events on this ride led to one of the hardest laughs I have ever laughed. As we came out through the doors and back into daylight, people began to stare, surely wondering why we were laughing so hard. We didn’t know what to make of this experience. So we went on the ride again. And then again some more, each time it seemed to be funnier.

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