BEARDS

November 1, 2011

There is a tradition that is celebrated by men everywhere (?) and especially APU this time of year. It is a time in which men put down the razor in an act of defiance and let their facial hair grow. No Shave November is an APU classic, though I’ve seen it observed outside of our alma mater.

I’ve been a beard-wearer for the better part of 5 years. I have grown to hate the look of my face without a beard. The beard is a very important part of who I am. It has seen a few slight variations throughout it’s tenure on my face. I used to let it grow and only trim it every few weeks. I used to never trim the edges. ┬áThen I grew it out. Now I mostly keep it at one length, trimming it every few days, and shaving around the edges to keep it clean. I have grown somewhat of an attachment to my beard. While I love my beard, I still find this incredibly fascinating, tragic, and ABSOLUTELY FREAKING HILARIOUS.

I first read about this story in Newsweek, then on the front page of CNN.com. There is speculation of a secretive amish cult that has broken off from an amish community in Ohio. This cult has been terrorizing the men of the amish community by breaking into their homes, pinning them down, and cutting off their beards. I understand that the beard is a strong symbol in the amish world and that losing it would be a tragedy. The only comparison I can think of is a woman losing her long hair, a symbol of womanhood. However, I still think “Amish Beard-Cutting Attacks Uncover Suspected Cult” is one of the funniest headlines I’ve read in a long time.

Even though I’ve had a beard for quite some time and am very proud of it, I don’t think I’ll ever come close to something as wonderful as this.

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